Understanding Joint Custody Challenges
We have joint custody but he won’t approve anything. What do I do? I’m Tulsa family law attorney James Wirth, and that’s the question that we have. Actually, the question we have is a little longer than that. It says, I’m the custodial parent. Kids go to the dad’s every other weekend. We’ve got joint custody, but he uses that as a way to control me. He will not give permission to do anything related to the kids. One is struggling with mental health. Another one is struggling with dental issues. I can’t get that stuff approved because he won’t approve anything. What do I do?
When Joint Custody Fails
So obviously joint custody does not work in this situation. Joint custody only works where both parties can get along well enough to communicate about the children. You don’t have to communicate about anything else, but about the kids, working together in the best interest of the children and being able to make decisions together. So if you can’t communicate responsibly regarding the kids, if you guys can’t get together and compromise here and there so you can reach agreements on what’s in the best interest of the children, then joint custody is probably not going to work.
So what do you do under those circumstances? Well, the obvious thing you do is file to terminate joint custody. So when the joint custody order went into place, presumably both parents thought that they could work together. Both parents were telling the court that they’re going to work together in the best interest of the children, but that hasn’t happened.
Filing to Terminate Joint Custody
So in order to modify in family law, you’ve got to show that there was a change of circumstances and that that’s a permanent, material, and substantial change. So in this case, we can see that clearly once it was entered, the parties were in agreement that joint custody was going to work. Now that’s no longer the case. So definitely along that path somewhere, there’s been a change, and a change that you could argue is permanent, material, and substantial so that the court should order something different now.
So you can file a motion to terminate joint custody requesting sole custody, and that doesn’t mean that the other parent has to have any less visitation. You could keep visitation exactly the same. It means decision-making so that one parent, because the parties can’t work together, one parent ultimately can make those decisions so everything’s not held up because these kids are not just going to be static and stay where they are. They’re going to be growing, and these issues, if they’re not resolved, are going to be getting bigger. So somebody has to be able to make those decisions.
Considering a Parenting Coordinator
Before you go through the time and expense of that, though, it may be worthwhile looking at another option, and that is getting a parenting coordinator added onto the case. So you can file to request a parenting coordinator be appointed. The court appoints that, and when these issues come up, you can bring it to the parenting coordinator. Parenting coordinator can make recommendations that can become orders of the court, and if somebody’s being unreasonable, the parenting coordinator can call them out, and that can be kind of a cheaper, faster process that can resolve some of these issues.
It’s not always going to work, but if it does work for you, then that’s going to be a better way to go, and you could do that while you’re waiting to get a trial date to try to terminate joint custody as well. Just an alternative option for you, but if you’re going through these circumstances, this general information may not be enough. You’re going to want information specific to your case provided after hearing the specifics of your circumstances so that it’s tied to directly what’s going to help you best.
Schedule a Strategy Session Today
If you want to talk to a child custody attorney at my office to get legal advice and a strategy for moving forward, you can go online to makelaweasy.com. Our team is ready to assist you with personalized guidance for your unique situation. Call us at 918-879-1681 for a low-cost initial strategy session and take the first step towards resolving your custody issues.
