Navigating Visitation Rights for Unwed Parents
So, are you the parent of a child who’s been born out of wedlock, and you’re not sure what your rights are during the holidays? I’m Tulsa family law attorney Carl Birkhead with Wirth Law Office in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’ve been doing family and criminal law for a little over seven years now, and I want to help make law easy by talking about holiday visitation and how that plays into cases with a child born out of wedlock.
I’m making this distinct distinction: a child born out of wedlock because in these cases, sometimes you can have two parents who aren’t together, who don’t have any sort of court orders or paperwork but are still trying to figure out a way to co-parent with one another and navigate the holidays. This situation is different from a child born of wedlock because either the child’s going to be with two married parents or the child’s going to be with one of the parents under the terms of a divorce decree. So this is kind of a unique situation, even though it is way more common than people realize.
Navigating Legal Presumptions
Oklahoma has two different standards for dads versus moms when you’re in this type of situation. When there’s no paperwork, the mom is the presumptive custodial parent, which means that under the law, if there’s no court order stating anything different, there’s just a legal presumption already created that the mom is the custodial parent of the child and therefore can make decisions for the child, including where the child spends the holidays. Dads don’t have that same right.
Dads don’t have just an innate custodial right to the child or even an innate visitation right. A father can create a presumption of paternity by signing a birth certificate or signing the Acknowledgement of Paternity, or if the child lives with the father for the first two years of their life and is held out as that man’s child. Those are ways to create a presumption of paternity. That’s not a way to create a presumption of legal rights. So I always tell my dads in these situations, you want to go ahead and file for a paternity case so that way you can get a court order in place to guarantee your rights.
Exploring Holiday Visitation Options
Now, sometimes that may not seem like the best solution, especially if you have a co-parent who’s willing to work with you and give you plenty of time with the child. But in these situations, especially with the holidays coming up, your options in these cases are to either one, negotiate with your co-parent, or two, file paperwork with the court to get a visitation schedule put in place. I love it when negotiation works.
I love when people can co-parent and they don’t even need attorneys involved. That might sound a little backward considering what I do for a living, but peace is priceless, and I always want my clients to be able to find that peace within their homes, within their families, and with their co-parents, whether or not they’re actually in a relationship anymore.
Focusing on the Child’s Best Interest
So do the best you can to try to work with the other side to figure out a way to let the child spend the holidays with both parents. Keep in mind you always want to do what is in the best interest of the child. That’s always the goal. That’s always the test. That’s always the standard. So what I tell my clients in these situations is, as best as you’re able to, if need be, put your ego aside, focus on what’s best for the child, and with that in mind, try to have a conversation with the other parent about visitation.
Book a Low-Cost Initial Strategy Session
If you have questions about this or you’ve tried the negotiation route and it’s just not working, give us a call. I’m Tulsa visitation attorney Carl Birkhead with Wirth Law Office, and I want to help you make law easy. Call us today at 918-879-1681 to book a low-cost initial strategy session and ensure your holiday visitation rights are protected.
